By Deb Hargrove
We got given a pool this summer and it has CHANGED MY LIFE!! It’s nothing flash, a well-loved above-ground pool, but it is big enough for a few swimming strokes and deep enough to dolphin-dive. We decided to accept the kind offer because we knew the kids would love it. What I never expected was for it to transport me to my childhood happy place! I get in the water and turn into 9-year-old Deb – a dorky, smiley, flapping, gliding guppy (and let’s be honest, I’m totally pretending I’m the Little Mermaid).
The concept of play for adults has been a somewhat hot topic in recent years. I’ve read about it, agreed it sounds like a really good idea, but genuinely struggled to find it. You might feel similarly – the idea of cutting loose and feeling free and childlike sounds so insanely good, but somehow the responsibilities and realities of adulting make it seem impossible.
Some of the things that get in the way of our ability to engage in play can include:
Guilt. It can feel so wrong to simply enjoy an activity when our time, money, and energy could go to more responsible tasks.
Rules. We might find an activity that sparks childlike play in us, but then our grown-up self goes and puts a whole lot of rules around it (e.g. ‘I can only do this activity once x,y,z is done,’ ‘I can’t spend any money on this activity,’ or ‘I have to make sure I do this activity twice a week, even if I don’t really feel like it.’)
Monetising it. You start whittling kazoos for fun, someone says you should sell them, and before you know it, your hobby has turned into an Etsy store that is adding extra stress and pressure into your life.
We don’t even know what we love to do anymore. Sometimes the intensity of life forces us into a space where we genuinely don’t know what would be fun for us to do anymore.
It feels like too much effort, and we can’t be bothered with yet another thing to do.
If you’re struggling to find play in your life, here’s a few ideas to consider:
Keep an eye out for it. You don’t have to go on a mission to find play, but if you remain open to it as you go about your life, you may just discover a spark that could turn into a regular playtime.
Combat feelings of guilt by reminding yourself that play makes you a better partner, parent, caretaker, employee, etc.
Once you find something you love, keep it fresh by not bogging it down in rules, stress, or somehow making it something productive.
Don’t put it off – give yourself permission to enjoy play now, not just when you have more time, money, energy, etc.
Don’t fall into the trap of convincing yourself that bingeing Netflix is the same thing as play - escapism doesn’t fill our tanks in the same way that genuine engagement in play does.
Play doesn’t have to look the same for you as it does for others – you might have friends that love golf, but in all honesty, you’d rather eat your arm. It’s okay for your play to be unique to you!
I think that I’d forgotten what play felt like for me – the unbridled joy, the full body aliveness, and the feeling of being connected to the world in a way that feels like I’m one with everything good around me. It’s unlocked a part of me I assumed was long gone. I genuinely think it’s more important than most of us acknowledge.
You have permission to play today friends – unleash your inner child and let them run wild!
Deb xx
